Saint of 9/11 aka Victim #0001 of the World Trade Center Attacks

Father Mychal Judge





     Before I really get into this, let me start by letting everyone know that yes, I am okay! I know it's been over a month since I blogged but I just got lazy after my last work trip. But, with Sunday being the 10 year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I definitely have some things on my heart that I wanted to share.

    While I am a very spiritual person, I'm not the most religious person in the world. I was raised in the Roman Catholic church & there are so many things I love about the religion. (mainly the lengthy history of the church) When I do go to church, the majority of the time I go to a Catholic church. Do I agree w/ everything about the religion? No, there are a few things I take issue with. But, I'm seeing more & more people starting to feel that way about their religion as well. It's hard to find any religion that is going to fit you 100%. Anyway, the reason I'm bringing up the Catholic church is b/c one of my biggest inspirations is Father Mychal Judge. The Orthodox Catholic Church has actually made him a saint since his death on 9/11/01. It's a bit harder to become a saint in the Roman Catholic Church b/c it's quite a process. Father Judge was confirmed death number 0001 at the World Trade Center. Obviously, the people in the plane that hit Tower 1 & the people at the immediate site of the impact were the very first to die on that day but Father Judge was the very first death to be confirmed.



     Father Mychal was Chaplain of the NYC fire department & was a very well known figure in the city. He was extremely loved by the fire department. On 9/11 after the first tower (North Tower) was hit, he rushed to the site so he could be with his men. As he was walking up to the North Tower, Mayor Giuliani (also a Catholic) approached Father Mychal & told him to come with him. He told Mayor Giuliani, "No, I have to stay with my men!". As Mayor Giuliani walked off he told Father Mychal to, "Pray for us!" to which Father Mychal responded, "I always do!". Father Mychal gave last rites to several victims who were laying outside on the sidewalk before finally entering the North Tower. He remained in the lobby at the command post praying the entire time & asking God to end the situation. After the South Tower collapsed, debris was falling from it & landing in the North Tower. Debris hit Father Mychal directly in the head, killing him upon impact. After he was killed, a NYPD officer who had also been buried under debris when the North Tower collapsed, found Father Mychal's body & had a few other men help him get Father Mychal's body out of the tower. They took his body to St. Peter's Church which was nearby & placed him inside at the alter. Before going back out to help, the guys knelt at the alter to give thanks to God for Father Mychal. They then covered his body & placed his NYC FD badge on top of it. To me, the men placing his body at the alter was a way of showing that he literally sacrificed himself at the foot of the alter in order to help others. The picture of the 5 guys carrying his body has become one of the most iconic pictures from 9/11. Because Father Mychal's body was immediately ID'd by a longtime friend who was with the NYPD, he was ruled Victim 0001 of the attacks on the Twin Towers. Some have said they believe he had to be number 1 b/c God needed his services up in Heaven on 9/11.

    



Father Mychal's body being carried out of the North Tower



     Obviously, there were MANY heroes on 9/11. However, it wasn't just Father Mychal's actions on that day that make him one of my personal heroes. Father Mychal was a recovering alcoholic who still attended AA meetings on a regular basis. He was gay (In orientation! Obviously, since he was a priest, not in practice.) & had been a long time member of Dignity which is a Catholic LGBT organization which advocates change in the teaching of the Catholic Church's view on homosexuality. (many Catholic churches have become more open on the subject) When the AIDS epidemic took place, he was one of the first priests to deliver Last Rites to patients. He helped console AIDS patients & their families. He came from an Irish family & was well known for bursting into Irish songs. The NYC FP loved him. Not only did Father Mychal know all of the guys on the fire department, he also remembered the names of their family members. He had met w/ President Clinton once at the White House & when he came back to NYC, he handed out a bunch of cocktail napkins w/ the presidential seal that he'd managed to walk off with. Like most New Yorkers, he was known to drop some foul language from time to time. Anytime someone from the Right Wing would give him money, he'd turn around & give it to a Gay Rights organization! (LOVE it!!) Basically, he sounds like the kind of person you'd want for your best friend.

     The world needs so many more people like Father Mychal in it. He represents what Jesus stood for... LOVE! He loved EVERYONE! He had friends from all different religious backgrounds. He even had friends who were Atheists. I get so angry at all of these pastors from other religions who basically make the people of their congregations think that unless someone believes in the exact same things you do, you should fear them & treat them like crap. I know way too many people who are "Christians" who say some of the most hateful things towards other people. They don't like Muslims, period. Some of them refer to blacks as a certain racial slur that I do not tolerate. Many of them look down on others b/c maybe they don't come from a lot of money or maybe one parent is black & the other parent white. How can you act that way & then go around talking to people about being a Christian? You think Jesus would go around telling Muslims to burn in Hell? Jesus hung out w/ the lowest of the low in society. He had friends who were prostitutes & friends who were homeless. He believed in helping the poor & the sick, not looking at them as outcasts of society who you should ignore or treat badly. Father Mychal completely embodied that!

    

     I wish more people would start to idolize people like Father Mychal. It's sad that people like the cast of Jersey Shore are celebrities & well known by society yet most people couldn't give a single name of one of the almost 400 firemen who made the ultimate sacrifice on 9/11. THAT is the type of person people need to look up to. The passengers of United 93 who, after learning that their hijacked plane would likely be used in the same way the other 3 hijacked flights that day had been, decided that they wouldn't allow their plane to be used as a weapon & stormed the cockpit. They ultimately gave their lives when crashing the plane into an empty field in Pennsylvania. They are the type of people we need to teach kids to look up to. They are what heroes are! We should all be thankful that there are people like that who exist in this world.

     Since I am Catholic, there are times when I call on certain saints in prayer. Usually, I pray to God or to Mary but there are a few saints that I pray to b/c of what they "specialize" in. (I.E. Saint Jude b/c he is one of the saints who helps the sick) Even though Father Mychal has not become a saint in the Roman Catholic Church, in my eyes, he is most definitely a saint. There are times when I do just stop & kind of ask him to guide me in what I'm doing. Even though I never knew him personally, he has had a huge impact on my life. And obviously I'm not the only one who feels that way. Over 3,000 people attended his funeral in Manhattan including President & Hillary Clinton as well as Mayor Giuliani. Father Mychal's helmet was taken to Pope John Paul II. He has been honored in numerous ways all over the world. The next time my mom & I visit NYC, I've already told her we're taking a 30 minute taxi ride over to New Jersey so that I can visit his grave.

     Father Mychal's death is featured in several different documentaries on 9/11. One documentary was done on just him. The film is called, "Saint of 9/11". I couldn't think of a more appropriate title!! Thank you, Saint Mychal, for all that you did during your time on Earth & thank you for all you continue to do 10 years after your death.

Father Mychal's helmet being presented to Pope John Paul II

                                      

THIS Woman's Work

"It is health that is real wealth & not pieces of gold & silver."

~Gandhi

(Read the post before you watch this so you'll have a better understanding)

Okay, so I must admit, I have a "theme song" for myself. It wasn't actually written for me or anything but it's just a very beautiful, very pretty song. I don't feel sorry for myself but I do realize that I have been through more than most 29 year olds... hell, most 80 year olds, EVER will in their lifetime. There are times I do get angry & upset & of course, from time to time, I can't help but thinking to myself, "Why me?". But, then again, I realize, "Why not me?". My doctors believe I contracted it at a keg party that was held a couple of days before I went into the hospital. There were at least 50 people at this party, probably more, so I'm sure most people can understand why from time to time I can't help but think, "Out of everyone at that damn party, why was I the "lucky" one?". I just thank God that after I got infected, I didn't pass it on to my best friend or one of my parents b/c I didn't yet know I was sick. Okay, I'm rambling. Like I said above, I've basically been through way too much for a person who's not even 30! I've had well over 30 surgeries, I had both legs amputated AND I lost parts of every finger on my right hand which just happened to be my dominant hand for the 19 years leading up to me getting sick. I take more pills than my 80 year old grandmother does, I have horrible arthritis, headaches are a daily occurrence, I have insomnia, I suffered from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder... a lot of soldiers suffer from it after returning from war), I deal w/ depression, I've been in a coma, I've had TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome), I've had my left hip replaced (the arthritis in that joint completely destroyed it), I've had multiple skin grafts, OH, & I went into cardiac arrest & my heart didn't start beating again until 52 minutes later! Sounds fun, right? Aside from all of my physical medical issues, I lost one of my dearest friends to diabetes in 2005 which pushed my already existing anxiety issues over the edge & landed me in a psychiatric hospital for a week. (which is where I was diagnosed w/ PTSD) I allowed myself to suffer through a verbally abusive relationship for 2 years (I'll do a separate post on that issue 1 day). The step sibling I was closest to while growing up was almost killed in a car accident about 4 years after I got sick. Luckily, he survived but he ended up suffering some pretty bad brain trauma. One of my biggest "fans" & one of the women I admire most, my Nana, died about a year after my brother's wreck. We also lost my stepdad's sweet mother (aka Grandma Farmer). It's literally just been one thing after the other since I got sick in June of 2001. For a while, I was not given a break. People need time to grieve & to take in everything that has happened & when life just keeps throwing things at you, you can't stop & do all of that. Since the start of 2009 things have finally been slowing down some. The hip replacement/cardiac arrest event took place in December of 2008 so things started slowing down at the perfect time! The only problem was I had about 7 years worth of traumatic events that I had to start grieving over. I had some pretty dark, lonely days for the 1st year... I had A LOT of grieving to do!! A LOT!! I didn't really start to come out of the grieving phase until like May of 2010 so for almost 1 1/2 years, I sat around, depressed! Lots of crying & lots of talking to God took place during this time. I also did a bit of journaling. Oh, & WAY TOO MUCH eating. I put on a good 15-20 lbs.! I don't really eat that much but during that year & a half of grieving, I literally did nothing! I sat on my butt! Or slept. Doesn't really matter how little you eat, if you don't move around some, you're going to put on weight. Then you end up w/ something else to be depressed over! I was offered the job I have now w/ the pharmaceutical company (Novartis) in March of 2010 & I did my first job in May of 2010. That's when the fog of depression started to gradually lift. Apparently, sitting around on your ass for weeks at a time is NOT the way to get out of a dark time. Traveling is however a good way to help yourself. Isolating yourself from everyone is NOT a good way to cure depression either! And by the way, interacting w/ people on FB all day does not count as far as socializing. You need to get in a little face time here & there. I really feel that doing this job has helped turn me around. Aside from getting to travel all over the country, I'm helping save lives! The feeling you get knowing you're preventing other kids from going from perfectly healthy to physically or mentally disabled is one that can't really be put into words. Plus, I know that I'm helping to prevent other families/friends from suffering through what mine have. It's just an amazing feeling. Always good to earn some Karma points! I'm seem to have finally snapped out of my year & a half funk. I will be making my annual trip to Chicago to visit one of my favorite cousins in the Fall & I plan on going to California to visit Dad & the rest of the Gray clan. Oh, plus, next month I'm doing a job in New Hampshire & since my stepmom's brother & his family live there, I'm going to stay a few days extra w/ them. Although I do seem to have a "brighter" outlook these days, of course I still have days that are dark and even a bit scary. I have issues with pain every single day. My arthritis has gotten a bit worse. I've lost some weight & even though I'm only doing it like 2 or 3 days a week, I've started exercising again. I know that will help ease the arthritis some. I also am going to have to figure out some time to put aside to have a little "touch up" surgery on my right knee. I was THIS close to losing my right leg above the knee so it's kind of the "problem child" for me. The surgery will be outpatient & should only take about 3 weeks to heal from. But, the shape of my knee is going to change some so I will have to have a completely knew prosthetic made for this leg. I realize most people don't know too much about how prosthesis work so I'll just let you know that in order for the prosthetic to fit correctly, feel comfortable to walk on, & not cause any issues for your skin, the inside of it has to be custom fit for your leg. It can be a long process b/c sometimes you have to keep going back to have the socket (inside) adjusted some. Aside from that one surgery, no BIG stuff should happen that would affect my physical health! I'm planning on going to beauty school in Spring of 2012 to become licensed in asesthetics. It makes me excited to think that in a little over a year, I could be working at my dream job! SO, finally, getting back to my theme song! It's, "This Woman's Work". I know many people know it for the Maxwell version BUT it's not his song. It was written & first recorded by Kate Nash. It was written for the movie, She's Having a Baby, w/ Kevin Bacon. Very pretty & very haunting song! I like Maxwell's version but I LOVE Kate's version. You can feel pure, raw pain in her voice when she sings it. Although the song is supposed to be from a man's point of view, it's not too hard to understand why I relate it to my life. You have to understand that all of the memories of my life are either "pre Meningococcal" or "post Meningococcal aka NOW". There are many things about my "pre" life that I miss every single day & of course, there are people from both the "pre" & "post" periods that I grieve for every day! She sings about how too much time was wasted & too many things weren't said & done while the opportunity was there. I took my health completely for granted, as many people do. There were things I could've done before getting sick that I can no longer do. And even w/ the deaths of family members & friends, most of the time there are things that you didn't tell the person that you wish had before the person died. As I said at the beginning of this post, I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm just well aware that in order for me to live a "normal" life, it takes a bit more patience & a bit more work! If you've never heard the song, take a listen. I realize most men probably don't care for this type of music but if you have a wife, daughter, or a close relationship w/ your mother, you should be able to appreciate the lyrics. Whether men want to admit it or not, it's take a lot more work to be a woman! We have to find just the right balance of strength & femininity, we wear all the uncomfortable clothes, shoes, & undergarments, we have to put on makeup, we spend more $ on keeping up appearances & hygiene, we get to put up w/ the joys of having a period every month, we have to go through menopause & of course, we give birth!! I wish for just one week, every single man on the planet could live life as a woman! (Well, not gay men b/c many of them can appreciate some of the things women go through a bit more than straight men can.)

One more thing, I do realize this video is 1980s, cheesy, music video (over)acting at it's FINEST! Still, the story of a man thinking back on some of the memories he has shared w/ his wife while she is about to die (or will she?) is pretty touching! It serves it's purpose! If you can't understand the lyrics & want to read them, you can go to this link: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/this-woman's-work-lyrics-kate-bush/59bca1ccdde91964482569a000310904