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Audrey Hepburn: Beauty, Class & a Kind Heart

Saturday, July 30, 2011

5000 Questions Part 2

Okay, I was looking at some of the questions on this list & some of them are just plain stupid. Others don't even make sense. So, I just looked around at the next 40 or 50 questions & picked the ones I liked the most. So, here we go:

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?
 A Have a career I enjoy doing
B Continue to help educate others on Meningococcal & the ways to prevent it
C Learn to REALLY live in the moment w/out worrying about what the future may or may not hold for me

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to & why?
The 80s for a number of reasons: I was born in 82; I have so many great memories of being a kid; the new wave music was AWESOME; MTV showed great videos; Saturday morning cartoons were the best!!; I got to play w/ Barbies & My Little Ponies; my Granddad, Nana, Uncle Geoff, Grandmother Orene, & Grandma Farmer were all still alive; life was still full of innocence

36. What is your favorite classic rock song? "Pressure" by David Bowie & Queen

38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?
Hallmark Channel b/c they show Golden Girls & TV Land b/c they show Three's Company.

39. What Disney villain are you the most like & why?
The wicked queen from Snow White. I wouldn't try to kill my stepdaughter if I had one or anything like that but I do admit that I like to look in the mirror a lot & I can be a bit vein at times. But, we all have our faults. Plus, w/ all my body's been through, it's actually been good that I had such a high self esteem!

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?
Yes, I did girl scouts for 2 or 3 years. I was a brownie. I ended up getting bored w/ it & gave it up so I could devote more time to dance.

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?
What am I, Christopher Columbus or a pilgrim? Um, fly!

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?
Because it can be! I'm assuming it has something to do w/ the sun being out or not out! Just a wild/crazy guess!

43. What does your name mean?
I've seen several different meaning but the one I see most often is "trees near the water".

45. Word association; What is the 1st word that comes to mind when you see the word:

Air:
Wind
Meat: Cow
Different: Unique
Pink: Barbie
Deserve: Earn
White: Christmas
Elvis: Graceland
Magic: 8 Ball
Heart: Ann & Nancy Wilson (of the band)
Clash: Rock the Casbah (by THE Clash)
Pulp: Juice

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?
Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, or Freddie Mercury (good combo, no?)

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? Really? Do you realize how many people I could list for this? Okay, as far as actors, I'm going w/ the cast of Criminal Minds. Singers: Phil Collins or Florence Welch from Florence & the Machine. I'm personally not dying to meet any politicians although it'd be cool to meet Obama.
49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?a pillow, a blanket, a fan, something to pee in, water, fruit, a book, sudoku, a journal, a pen

50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? Okay, I can't keep talking about getting sick & almost dying. YES! I've had mine saved more times than I'm worthy of!!! I'd like to think that by educating others on Meningococcal & the Menveo vaccine that I have prevented the loss of a few lives!

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?
I'm guessing braids can count? I braided my hair before getting into bed.

53. What was your favorite toy as a child?
ANYTHING Barbie... & as my mom & stepdad's only child, I had an entire playroom that was full of Barbie houses (completely furnished), ice cream shops, hospitals, pools, corvettes, stages for Barbie & the Rockers to have concerts (sometimes Jem joined in), a news desk/station, a surf shop, I could go on.

54. How many TV’s are in your house? 5 but only 4 are hooked up

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? like a leprechaun... I don't know... they make me smile but I don't really know how they make me feel

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? Yeah, just for fun. I didn't actually believe anything the lady told me.

59. What is your idea of paradise?
a beautiful New England style home in the mountains somewhere in N.H. or Vermont w/ tons of trees & a hammock in the backyard to take naps in

60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like? It's hard not to believe in a higher power when you've survived what I have! Unlike what so many self righteous people seem to think now days, God doesn't care about your ''brand" of religion & if you end up w/ a man or a woman. God only cares that you try to live life to the fullest, actually contribute something to the world & are a good person!

61. Do you believe in Hell? Yes, it's right outside my front door. Walk outside my house tomorrow afternoon & you'll know what Hell feels like!!!!

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't? I've done several things most people haven't! I've been in a coma, gone into cardiac arrest, have been given CPR/shocked w/ a defibrillator. Oh, & I've met Britney Spears, twice! =)

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?
I try to do lots of kind stuff, especially for my parents. And my Grandmother! Even though I don't have a ton of $$, I donate money to several charities each year. ASPCA & WWF automatically get a donation from me at the 1st of every month.

64. Are you a patient person?
HAHA! No, not so much. I'm working on it.

65. What holiday should exist but doesn't?
International Celebrate a Woman Day... every woman should be off work & showered w/ gifts by the men in her life!! ;-)

66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does?
um, I'm pretty okay w/ all of them; none of them bother me to the point that I think they should be done away w/

67. What's the best joke you ever heard?
One of my gay friends told it to me forever ago & it's kind of one of those jokes where you need to be able to hear it to truly appreciate it but I'll tell it anyway: What do gay horses eat? HAYYYYYYYYYY! (imagine one of your gay guy friends saying HEYYYY & yeah, that's what it comes down to... & if you don't have any gay friends, you probably aren't a fun person!)

68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? the trip I took to Maui my Sr. year of high school w/ my Dad & stepmom & all the sibs... & it wasn't just b/c I missed a full week of school to be in Maui, it was just fun & I have a lot of happy memories of that trip

69. Is your hair natural or dyed?
a bit of both, actually; I'm naturally VERY strawberry blonde but I have my hair colored so that most of the strawberry (but not all!!) is gone. I know everyone tells me people would kill to have my natural hair color but I just don't care for the way it looks on me.

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?
I wouldn't call them "DARK" but there are a few things from my past that only one or 2 other people know about... & no, I'm not about to say what they are in a quiz that anyone could read

71. What is under your bed right now?
nothing, my bed frame goes all the way down to the floor so you can't put anything under it

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?
I'd probably want to stay for a while but I couldn't leave my friends & family and never see them again; if I could live there but go home for the holidays & visit friends & family a few times a year, then yeah, I'd live there... the munchkins probably don't go around killing each other & smoking meth & all kinds of other good stuff


73. If you drive do you frequently speed? if by "frequently" you mean always, then yes! in neighborhoods I usually don't go more than 5 over the speed limit but on highways, interstates, freeways, & main roads, I tend to go about 10-15 over, depending on the city I'm in. The cops in the burbs of Memphis don't play so I try not to go too fast when I'm in any of them

74. What is the world's best song to dance to? I'm a BIG fan of disco & I've always loved "Dancing Queen" by ABBA & "Don't Leave me this Way" by Thelma Houston. Even though I wasn't alive at the time, I always like to imagine dancing at Studio 54 when I dance to disco!
(Thelam Houston~ Don't Leave me this Way)

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? sadly, I haven't danced w/ someone in way too long, I have been dancing around the house to a lot of 80s new wave lately though

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? I love both!! I love Disney movies & Disneyland & Disney World but I also love Looney Toons & 6 Flags

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? elephants or as I called them when I was little, "ellycups"
I HIGHLY recommend watching this. It's AMAZING! I promise, it's well worth it!!

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?
yes!

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? not sure but we'd definitely be screwed!!

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?
before I got sick it was dancing but then, I had to make a pretty huge sacrifice in order to live









Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thankful Thursday 7/28/11

Mamacita!! My mom & I have been through more than most mother/daughters! She's been my rock since the day I got sick. Anytime I'm in the hospital, she doesn't leave... not even to go home & get some sleep! I know I would've thrown in the towel & quit fighting for life if I had been on this journey w/out her!!!

Mom & me in front of the Statue of Liberty on our trip to NYC for my 29th.

My meds!~ Namely: Ativan, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin, & Morphine! Ativan keeps me calm so I don't kill anyone; Cymbalta helps w/ both pain & depression; Wellbutrin is again, for depression; Gabapentin, Lyrica & Morphine all help w/ my ridiculously painful Neuropathy/phantom pain. As if you need another reason to get your child or yourself (depending on your age) vaccinated for Meningococcal, be sure to check out the pic below of JUST MY A.M. medications. There are P.M. meds too. And notice I have a "2 story" pillbox!

My morning pills!



Dill Pickles~ My sodium & potassium levels drop from time to time b/c of my adrenal insufficiency. I can ALWAYS tell when it's happening b/c I CRAVE pickles & vinegary liquids like pickle juice &... this is weird, I know... A1 steak sauce! I literally get a spoon out, pour A1 into the spoon & eat/drink it. Nice, huh?

Music~ I can't live without music!! It gets me through any situation & helps me with whatever mood I'm in!
That Summer will be over in about a month & a half!!~ Yep, I hate Summer!! September means:


  • This God awful, Hellish, MISERABLE heat will start to go! Fall temperatures are THE best!!
  • Fall temps. mean FALL CLOTHES!
  • Leaves start to change colors!
  • And my absolute favorite part... KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!! I personally am NOT good when it comes to screaming children. Or obnxious children! I blame it on being raised as my mom's only child. Seriously though, since I don't work normal 9-5 hours like most people, I like being able to go to Target at noon w/out dealing with out of control kids. Sometimes, I want to smack the parents for letting their kids behave that way in public. And do NOT give me that, "I can't control them!" B.S.! Do you know what my mom used to do to me if I started acting like an idiot in a store? It didn't matter if she had a basket full of groceries. She grabbed my arm, took me out to the car & BEAT MY ASS! Believe me, all it took was one or two times & I learned not to mess w/ Momma while shopping. I am a big believer in spanking! My mom would get the back of my leg right below my butt & it would sting like a mofo. I've spanked a kid or 2 myself & I don't even had kids of my own. (don't worry, the parents of these kids told me to do it if they go out of line!)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Wear Your Medical Conditions on Your Sleeve! Literally!



Because of all the medical conditions I have & b/c of all the meds I take, I wear a medical ID bracelet 24/7, 365 (366 in a leap year!). I personally think the majority of people should wear one. Even if it's something that doesn't seem so major... like, say, an allergy to latex, you should have one of these bracelets. (a lot of vaccines have latex & of course, they use latex gloves in hospitals) Luckily, the ID bracelets you can get now days are nothing like your grandparent's ID bracelets! They make really pretty ones. There are several websites that you can get on & find a bracelet that matches your personality. I have 2 & SHOCKER, both are pink. The one I wear most often is just a thin, pink, leather bracelet. It really just looks like a ponytail holder around my wrist. My favorite thing about my bracelet tag is that it's interchangeable so I only need one tag. I can buy as many bracelets as I want w/out having to pay for a tag & engraving each time. If like me you have a ton of medical issues, you can have both sides of the tag engraved. Mine has my name, the 5 meds I'm allergic to, "adrenal insufficiency" & "bilateral amputee" so, you can get quite a bit put on one bracelet. Even if you don't think you need one of these, if you have a child w/ ANY medical issues, it's really in your best interest to get one. Here are my 2 favorite sites to bracelet shop: http://www.laurenshope.com/ (Halle Berry has at least one bracelet from them; she has Type I Diabetes) & http://www.fiddledeeids.com/. I also have a key chain from Fiddledee IDs (pink, of course) so I am extra cautious. Since I take too many medications to put on a bracelet (unless I want to wear multiple ones) I keep a list of all the medications I take in my wallet & one in my organizer. Oh, I also have "Medication List in Wallet" engraved on my bracelet! Hopefully, the majority of people who read this post will never be in a situation where a medical ID bracelet would really come in handy but I've learned the hard way that it's ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry! TRUST ME! I'm an expert on that situation!! Another good thing about these sites that specialize in medical ID bracelets is that now, most of them also carry necklaces, luggage tags, key chains & even temporary tattoos. Also, if you join either of the sites' mailing lists or FB pages, almost every week, they offer some type of discount.

Here's a couple of pictures of my "everyday" bracelet. (the other 1 I have is beaded & a bit more "flashy")

As you can see, I even got the medical symbol (whatever the thing w/ the snake is called) in pink. Fiddledee ID's allows you to get the symbol in a few different colors. I can't remember if Lauren's Hope does the same or not.


The tag comes off so you can change the bracelet. I think those are called something like "lobster claw clasps" or something having to do w/ an animal. LOL! If you have to wear one of these at all times, it's just nice to have the option of changing the bracelet.

5000 Questions, Part 1


I saw this on a fellow blogger's... blog! She told me to Google the term & that I'd be able to find it. Apparently, a lot more people are doing this than I thought. Anyway, seemed kinda fun and it's always something good to do on days when you just aren't feeling very creative when it comes to doing a blog post. So, today, I'll be answering questions 1-30. I'll try to make my answers as interesting as possible. And of course, truthful!

  1. Who are you? (now I have The Who song stuck in my head!) This is one of those questions that really, you can give 1000 different answers to. I am:
  • Strong beyond belief!
  • 100% all woman!
  • A total girl's girl
  • a dancer (former)
  • a daughter
  • a big sister
  • a loyal friend
  • believer of equal rights for every single human on this planet, no matter their age, race, religion, sex, or sexual preference
  • usually more sympathetic towards animals than many humans
  • a liberal
  • one of the few people I know who LOVES cold & hates Summer!
  • someone who doesn't feel I need a husband or child to make me feel complete
  • impatient
  • a smartass
  • not a fan of talking on the phone
  • someone who believes that music has healing powers
 
   2.    What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?
  • I can NOT stand ignorant, close minded, racist people!
  • I would take a bullet for my friends/family without thinking twice about it! (actually, I even feel like I'd do that for my 2 "daughters" (Persian cats))
  • I have literally cheated death more times than you could believe. I survived a rare disease that I was only given a 20% chance of surviving, I was in a 6 week coma & my heart stopped beating for 52 minutes after I had my hip replaced. (seriously!)
3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? it varies day to day but if I'm at home, no matter what I'm doing, there's a good chance I have some show on TV that involves murder/crime (I know, sounds very uplifting) & I have at least one of my 2 Persian cats near me


   4.  List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). Um, this technically isn't a question but whatever. I graduated high school 11 years (wow, that's crazy!) ago. High school, for me, was more of a big social gathering each day. All I cared about was hanging out w/ my friends, going to pom practice, cheering at games & going to parties. I did enjoy English my Freshman year, the public speaking class I was in my Sophomore year (same teacher as the 9th grade Eng. class), History my Jr. year & doing the school news my Jr. year. I didn't earn a degree in college but I did enjoy the English classes I took & I LOVED the public speaking class I was in. I'm going to beauty school when Spring roles around so I'm looking forward to everything I learn about aesthetics!! As far as classes I like the least, I HATED Geometry & Algebra II. Once I got past Algebra I, it was all downhill!

   5. What is your biggest goal for this year? to be enrolled for the aesthetics program by the end of the year... even though it doesn't start until Spring, I want to have my place reserved!

   6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? I want to be working as an aesthetician. I'd love to eventually work for Benefit Cosmetics. Even though it would be SO hard to move away from my friends/family (and 20 Dr.s) here in Memphis, I jdon't want to be stuck here simply b/c this is where I grew up. I'd LOVE to be living in the Chicago area. I don't necessarily see myself getting married w/in 5 years but it would be nice to be in a solid relationship by then. I also hope to see my health get better & better each passing year!

    7. What stage of life are you in right now? It's crazy to think that I am in the LAST year of my 20s! 30 just sounds so much older and "grown up" than 20! I'm just hoping the best is really yet to come!

    8. Are you more child-like or childish? I'm definitely not childish but I can be child-like when it comes to having fun. Oh, & once Christmas time comes around, I feel like I turn into a child all over again. I hope I never lose that feeling during the holiday season!!

    9.  What is the last thing you said out loud? "Love you too." (talking to Mamacita)

  10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush. I did a post on it last week. It's been my best post yet (in my opinion) so I definitely recommend it. It explains a lot about me & everything I've gone through and continue to go through.

  11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? Nope, never had the desire.

  12.  Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? It was all going great up until I turned 19 & got sick. Aside from my health problems, things have been pretty good. There have been a few traumatic events (aside from the health crap) that shook me up but that happens to pretty much everyone. My health seems to be slowly improving. God willing, that will continue!

  13. Does time really heal all wounds? No way! I think time helps you learn to deal w/ & live w/ painful events that have taken place but you never really heal from them. One of my favorite quotes actually pertains to this subject. Here it is:  "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone." ~Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy


  14. How do you handle a rainy day? I love to lounge in bed, read, & listen to music. (unless there's a Criminal Minds marathon on) There may also be some napping involved.



15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? DEFINITELY losing your luggage! That's why I always pack jewelry, beauty products & medications in my carry on bag. I spend way too much on makeup & anti-aging products to have them get lost.


 16. How is your relationship with your parents? Will you miss them when they are gone? I'd just like to point out that this technically makes this 5001 Questions! My mom is one of my very best friends & she is one of my guardian angels here on Earth! My stepdad & I have almost like a brother/sister relationship b/c we like to pick on each other. It's a good relationship though. He has done (& continues to do) so much for both my mom & me. I realize that since I'm not his blood daughter, he doesn't have to do all the stuff for me that he does. My dad & I have always been close but we don't see each other often b/c of all the miles between us. There are some things going on his life that kind of make me shake my head (& from time to time, want to smack him upside the head) but I've seen these types of shenanigans happen w/ a ton of men his age. I just like to think of it as a "mid-life crisis". My stepmom & I were really close when I was little. I idolized her! We had some tough years from the age of 16 up until a couple of years ago. Since she's in California, I obviously don't see her often but we do text each other regularly. There's a lot more respect between the 2 of us now. As for the "Will I miss them?" question... what kind of asshole would say no to that? Now that all of them (aside from my stepdad) are in their 50s, it does scare me to think about losing them. I try not to think about it though!


17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? Definitely! With all of the crazy mess that's going on in the world, there are times that I wish I wasn't!


18. What is the truest thing that you know?  Well, like the title of my blog states, "Life is beautiful... even when it hurts!". And when I say hurt, I'm not just talking about physical pain. There's a ton of emotional pain that comes w/ living too. Still, there's a ton of beauty in life, even when things seem doomed!


 19. What did you want to be when you grew up? Definitely not disabled! (hehe, have to make light of certain situations) But seriously, I wanted to be a lot of things. At one point I wanted to do 3 things: 1) Be a garbageman! (seriously!!) 2) Work for Federal Express (which has since been shortened to FedEx) 3) Work at Lebonhiker Children's Medical Hospital (that's how I said LeBonheur, lol) Then when I got a little bit older & established my absolute love of animals, I wanted to be a vet. 


20. Have you ever been given a second chance? LOL! And a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc., etc.! See Question 2 for explanation! 

21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? I'm a bit of both!


22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? I always try. I definitely think my heart & mind are a lot more open than many others!


23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? Having both legs amputated below the knee when I was 19. Definitely don't recommend trying it!



24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? Losing my best guy friend to diabetes in 2005. Still breaks my heart to think about it!




25. Who have you hugged today? Momma, Sasha Belle & Coco Chanel (my 2 "daughters" =))




26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? Mom




27. Do you have a lot to learn? My Granddad instilled in me at a young age that no matter how old you are, you always have a lot to learn! My great-grandmother (Granddad's mom) was in her 80s when she got her college degree! The picture of her being handed her diploma is beyond precious!



28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? Fly (as in a plane), sing, & sew



29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? How others make me feel... but what people say is a VERY close 2nd. I am not the person you want to say something you'll later regret to. I, like most people, can forgive but I NEVER forget!




30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? I'm not married or anything so I don't necessarily consider myself an expert. Obviously there has to be trust! DUH! I'm sure a lot of people will think I'm crazy but I do think it's okay to have a couple of secrets. (nothing major!) I think once there's no mystery left between 2 people, things get really dull. It's always nice to be able to have what I refer to as "good conversation" w/ someone. Great sex is obviously a plus but when things in that area kinda slow down, if you can't enjoy each others conversations, what else will you have?

































Saturday, July 23, 2011

My Type of Man

     So, even though I love men of all color, shapes and sizes, I've discovered that I DEFINITELY have developed a liking for a particular type. I seem to be all about the dorky, adorable, intellectual kinda guys. Mainly, the taller/leaner ones. I like a little bit of definition in the arms & chest but I just can't stand the guys who have the bodybuilder look to them. They always seem to have really teeny heads and it doesn't match up w/ the ginormous arms. EWW! Don't confuse the bodybuilder look w/ someone who goes to the gym regularly. Believe me, I'll take Shemar Moore ANY DAMN DAY! (He has muscles but he doesn't look like his entire life revolves around lifting weights. Just want to clarify the difference!) Another quality I seem to find appealing w/ these type of guys is that a lot of them seem to be a bit "artsy" or at least enjoy the arts! I'm not exactly artsy but I used to be a dancer & I do love performing arts and art museums! I probably don't look like it but I am more of a free-spirited, liberal kinda chick. I'm not big into organized religion & I don't like people telling me what it is & isn't proper for me, as a woman, to do. It's not exactly easy to meet people w/ the same way of thinking in the area I live in.
     I don't know why I've developed a certain love/lust for this type of guy. I've never actually dated one. (perhaps I'm tired of dating idiots & have become smarter?) My 2 high school sweethearts were both athletes and my most recent ex played football when he was in high school. While only one was really an idiot, the other 2 weren't exactly the studious, nerdy type. The idiot of the group used to complain about being bored, CONSTANTLY, & anytime I'd mention that he should try reading, it was like I'd just told him to go to the doctor and get checked for testicular cancer! It was not sexy to me that he didn't like reading, didn't know much about politics, & didn't know much about current events. (I once asked him to tell me the name of the V.P. & he couldn't!) If you think I'm just being mean & making it sound worse than it was, the boy once informed me that, "You CAN'T get skin cancer from a tanning bed b/c it's not real sun! DUH!". He looked at me like I was the moron when he told me that too!!
     With all of the traveling I do both for work & for pleasure, I've noticed this "type" of guy is easier to find in some cities than in others. Where I live, they seem to be an endangered species. Perhaps I need to quit hanging in the "burbs" so much. Still, where does a girl go to find herself an "adorkable" kinda guy? (for the record, I did NOT coin that term, I saw it in People StyleWatch) Any suggestions? Feel free to comment & let me know, especially if you're from the Memphis area! I was actually thinking the University of Memphis area would be good but I don't want a b/f who's 21! Plus, that's where I met the most recent ex although, he was not attending the U of M! (see comment in 2nd paragraph!)
     Okay, if you still can't exactly picture the type of guy I'm talking about, don't you worry! Believe me, Lindsey does have a list of Hot "Adorkable" Celebs!! So, w/out further ado, here's the list:


OH MY!! (I wanted to make this picture bigger but when I do, my blog page cuts part of it off. If you can't read the quote in the picture it says, "When I'm 90, I'll still be like, "What would Kurt Cobain wear?". In my eyes he was the essence of cool."")


  • Matthew Gray Gubler (my personal NUMERO UNO!)~ This one shouldn't come as a shock. My favorite show is Criminal Minds! MGG definitely helped start this... want/longing/desire/need, for me! Dr. Reid is w/out a doubt my favorite CM's character. Smart = SEXY in my book. My crush on him become a bit more serious last season when he debuted the new haircut. Love it shorter and I REALLY love those curls. Precious! He has his own website that he runs (it's kind of a blog, I guess) & I love reading it from time to time. He has a personality that many people would probably see as "strange" or "weird" but to me, it only makes him more attractive. I love people who aren't afraid to be themselves & I love when people have that personality type that only certain people really get! (although, if "being yourself" involves you being psycho, stuck up, an alcoholic, crackhead or an asshole, that cancels out the whole "cute" thing) I can't remember the name or address of his web page but I'm sure if you Google his name along w/ "official", it will bring it up. Another thing I like about the page is that he'll often post pictures of the CM's cast on set. My mom & I are both huge fans of the show & she won't watch it w/ me b/c anytime he comes on screen, I turn into a 13 year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert! Okay, maybe not that bad, but I do usually make a few remarks about him (and Shemar Moore... hell, all of the guys on that show are pretty damn good looking) per episode! I've met Britney Spears twice, once when I was 19 & once when I was 20. Both times were at the height of my Britney phase. Both times, I remained very composed & didn't make an ass of myself. I don't think I would be that way around this one. I'm hoping the certain person I know who has met him doesn't read this b/c I know she will be shaking her head & thinking I'm a moron if she does!

As Dr. Spencer Reid



No offense to any of the guys who've ever been in my Jeep but none of them ever looked this damn hot while sitting next to me. (although one did come close ;))

    This picture was actually in one of my Vogue issues. It's now torn out & in a little frame on my desk! Mom has Johnny Depp in her work room, I have MGG!

  •  Jackson Rathbone~ Yes, Twilight is all about Edward & Jacob (as far as the guys) but Jasper won my heart over! Especially once he was brought to life on the big screen by Rathbone. I'm also a bit partial towards him b/c he did an amazing job when he played a guest role on... what else but Criminal Minds! In all of the interviews I've seen & read on him, he's even more quirky than Jasper. I love it! He's got the quiet/mysterious thing going on too & for me, that's another sexy quality!


Such beautiful eyes!

  • David Hyde Pierce~ I LOVE Frasier. Dr. Niles Crane is my personal favorite character on the show. I'm gonna say that DHP is definitely the "nerdiest" on the list! I don't care that he doesn't exactly go for my "type" (aka women) in real life. He's so cute! And a great actor!! I'm really wanting to see the movie, The Perfect Host. Anyone seen it?


  • Patrick J. Adams~ I am just discovering him b/c of his role on the show Suits. (great show, comes on USA) His eyes alone were the main thing to catch my attention. He literally plays a genius on the show. He may not be that way in person but I choose to believe he is!

I'm a blue eyed girl who happens to be a TOTAL sucker for a gorgeous pair of blue eyes! (I also really love light green eyes)

  • Matt Hales~ He's better known to most people as Aqualung. Aqualung is one of my absolute favorites when it comes to music. Hales is magic on the piano! A lot of musicians are really smart. (though, not all!) His voice is like butter to me! He writes beautiful songs! What more do I need to say? If you want to check out any of Aqualung's music, my personal favorite song (one of my all time favorites songs, period!) is "Pressure Suit". Gorgeous!!



  • Jeff Goldblum~ Some people have laughed at me for thinking he's sexy. I personally don't see how any female (& in some cases men) can NOT find him adorably sexy. The first time I REALLY noticed his hotness was during the summer Independence Day came out. I don't remember how old I was but I know I was still in elementary school. At the very end of the movie, after he & Will Smith "save the day" & are walking on the runway of the airport w/ their little air force jumpsuits on... it was all over! From that point on, I was a big Jeff fan. Even though I LOVE Vincent D'Onofrio & for me, he was irreplaceable on Law&Order: CI, I really ended up liking the season (or 2?) Goldblum was on the show. (although thank God, D'Onofrio came back for the final season!) I don't know exactly what it is about Jeff that I find so damn sexy. He just puts off that vibe! And he's one of those guys who keeps getting better looking the older he gets.



  • Lou Taylor Pucci~ This one & Matt Hales are definitely going to be the lesser known on the list. I 1st discovered Pucci in the movie, The Insiders, based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis. If you love all things 1980s, you'll probably love this movie! Pucci is well known in the indie film industry & in my opinion, he's one of the best actors from that whole genre. My absolute favorite movie he's done is, The Go Getter. It also stars Zooey Deschanel who is just cute beyond words! Pucci gained quite a bit of praise & recognition for his role as the main character in The Thumbsucker. (w/ Vincent D'Onofrio) If you have a Netflix account, search his name & check out some of the movies he's done. He's quite a good actor... & he's pretty cute too.





I'm sure I left off a couple of other guys but for me, these are the main ones. If you or anyone you know has most of the same qualities these gentlemen possess, please, let them know that I am taking applications!! =)

Friday, July 22, 2011

We're Having a Heatwave... a MISERABLE Heatwave!

Since the temperatures have been RIDICULOUS lately & since I don't have a pool, this weekend will be spent indoors w/ the A/C blasting. I've seen posts with the temperature anywhere between 105 degrees and 119 degrees. Even Satan wouldn't enjoy this crap! I don't do well in extreme heat & humidity! I'm so ready for Fall it's not even funny. Here are the activities I plan on doing for at least the next couple of days:

  • Downloading some new music on the mp3 player.


  • Eating Minute Maid frozen lemonade~ I LOVE these! They're only 100 calories per cup & they taste so yummy. My favorite thing about these is that they're soft. These remind me of the frozen lemonade I used to eat as my lunch in high school. The ones we had in high school were like 3 of these though. I think they were made by Blue Bunny. That was back when everyone thought you could eat as much sugar as you want as long as the food was fat free. I had to look skinny in my little (& I do mean little) pom/cheerleading skirt. It's funny how I thought 100 lbs. was fat. Oh, the teen years! 


  • Having a Criminal Minds marathon!!~ I've already discussed my LOVE for this show in previous posts so I don't really have to explain this.




  • Finally starting one of my new books~ I bought 2 new books two weekends back & I've been lazy about starting on them. I already have a couple of other books I want to get so I need to finish these 2.

  • Journaling~ I'll probably write pages & pages filled w/ nothing but me bitching about how God awful this heat is!! Still, it'll make me feel better! =)


  • Getting caught up on my most recent magazines~ I only subscribe to a billion magazines. For whatever reason, I always seem to put off reading all of them until the end of the month, right before the next issues start coming in the mail. It seems to be a ritual. I enjoy it though... if ain't broke don't fix it, right?




  • Online window shopping (& maybe a teeny bit of buying)~ This seems to be one of my absolute favorite things to do. I don't know why I do it b/c all I end up doing in torturing myself!



  • Napping!~ This seems to be at the top of my list of favorite activities whenever it gets really hot out. Nothing like getting butt naked, turning the fan on & having sweet dreams of Fall!!


  • Pilates~ There's no way I'm getting outside to get any physical activity! Pilates always relaxes me. I credit it as being the main thing that has kept me limber since I quit dancing. I'm proud to say I am still extremely limber. It actually surprises me at times!



  • Daydreaming about Fall & the AMAZING Fall fashion!~ Fall means cooler weather! (Thank the Lord) Cooler weather means jackets & coats!! I have a serious weakness for both. I've already been online window shopping for jackets at some of my favorite stores. And once the September issues of all the fashion magazines come out, I'll really be jonesing for Fall clothes. I CAN'T WAIT!!!


FYI, as I wrap this up I'd just like to add that at this very moment, I am eating a frozen lemonade AND watching Criminal Minds! The only thing that could make this better would be having a gorgeous man feeding me the frozen lemonade while lounging in bed & watching TV!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

ONE Childhood Crush is STILL on my "Crush List"

 "It's like you think you are safe or something cause you can just walk away anytime, cause you don't need her - you don't need anyone. But the thing you didn't realize is, you're wrong."~ Jordan Catalano

     Before I get into the details of this crush, I should inform you that this is a celebrity crush, not a "someone I know in real life" crush! At the innocent age of 12, I discovered Jared Leto. Of course, at the time, I didn't know him by his real name, I knew him as the DREAMY & very mysterious Jordan Catalano on "My So Called Life". I've had MANY celeb crushes since I was a teeny girl. Just to name a few: George Michael (while he was w/ Wham!; my 1st celeb crush), Leo DiCaprio, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (aka JTT), Tom Cruise (pre crazy Scientology Tom), Kevin Costner (HUGE fan of The Bodyguard), Brad Renfro (RIP), Jason Priestly (aka Brandon Walsh), I'm sure I'm leaving off 2 or 3 people but those are the most memorable of the celeb crushes. Although a few of these guys are still cute, in my eyes, none of them really have that certain "je ne sais quoi" that really does it for me anymore! Obviously Leo is still extremely attractive & bless his heart, that film career of his seems to have just done nothing for him. (sarcasm!!) Leo's w/out a doubt extremely talented & yes, he's handsome, but for me, he's just never been as hot as he was when he did Romeo & Juliet. I guess I've made my point, so let's move on!


Jared as Jordan Catalano
     Ahhh, Jared Leto! Can the man possibly be any freaking hotter? And how in the Hell is he hotter now at almost FORTY than he was when he was 23? The man is beautiful. Period! Those eyes... DAMN! I would like to thank God for making men like this! Since "My So Called Life" ended, although he has had a pretty successful acting career, he's never become as famous for another role like he was for playing Jordan. He had some great supporting roles in movies like, "American Psycho", "Panic Room", & "Fight Club" and he was so heartbreakingly amazing as the role of Harry in the almost too much to watch, "Requiem for a Dream"! If ever he did become as known for a role as he was Jordan, the role of Harry would be it. I seriously think schools should be required to show "Requiem for a Dream" as a "Just Say No" (to the hard drugs) movie. It definitely does the job!!


Holy Jordan Catalano! Tell me he's not hotter now than he was in the 90s!!?

     Of course, now, most of the "kids" know Leto as the lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars. I've known of them since they first started getting popular & I've liked that song "The Kill" since the first time I've heard it but until recently, I haven't really counted myself as a fan of the band. A couple of months back I was bored so I was just kind of searching through different artists on Rhapsody and I came across the bands page. I decided to listen to some of their stuff & I was definitely impressed. Jared has a really great voice. He's not just another actor who thinks he should also have a music career on the side. No, he's the real deal. You can tell that he's obviously very passionate about the band's music. I have to admit, for some reason I've been embarrassed to admit to being a fan of 30 Seconds to Mars. Don't really know why! I can admit to having a serious love for Phil Collins, no problem, but w/ 30 Seconds, I've been kind of in the closet. Well, I guess I'll consider this as my official coming out.
     In a way, I guess I'm not too surprised that Jared's still on the crush list. He doesn't just play characters that are a bit dark & mysterious, he seems to be that way in real life too. And again, those gorgeous blue eyes!! So amazing! I'm hoping he continues making music & acting for many more years b/c I look forward to seeing him age. He's totally going to be like Johnny Depp & continue to get better w/ age... just like a very fine, very expensive, imported wine! =)



                                30 Seconds to Mars- The Kill

                     30 Seconds to Mars- Kings & Queens

Sunday, July 17, 2011

THIS Woman's Work

"It is health that is real wealth & not pieces of gold & silver."
~Gandhi

(Read the post before you watch this so you'll have a better understanding)

Okay, so I must admit, I have a "theme song" for myself. It wasn't actually written for me or anything but it's just a very beautiful, very pretty song. I don't feel sorry for myself but I do realize that I have been through more than most 29 year olds... hell, most 80 year olds, EVER will in their lifetime. There are times I do get angry & upset & of course, from time to time, I can't help but thinking to myself, "Why me?". But, then again, I realize, "Why not me?". My doctors believe I contracted it at a keg party that was held a couple of days before I went into the hospital. There were at least 50 people at this party, probably more, so I'm sure most people can understand why from time to time I can't help but think, "Out of everyone at that damn party, why was I the "lucky" one?". I just thank God that after I got infected, I didn't pass it on to my best friend or one of my parents b/c I didn't yet know I was sick. Okay, I'm rambling. Like I said above, I've basically been through way too much for a person who's not even 30! I've had well over 30 surgeries, I had both legs amputated AND I lost parts of every finger on my right hand which just happened to be my dominant hand for the 19 years leading up to me getting sick. I take more pills than my 80 year old grandmother does, I have horrible arthritis, headaches are a daily occurrence, I have insomnia, I suffered from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder... a lot of soldiers suffer from it after returning from war), I deal w/ depression, I've been in a coma, I've had TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome), I've had my left hip replaced (the arthritis in that joint completely destroyed it), I've had multiple skin grafts, OH, & I went into cardiac arrest & my heart didn't start beating again until 52 minutes later! Sounds fun, right? Aside from all of my physical medical issues, I lost one of my dearest friends to diabetes in 2005 which pushed my already existing anxiety issues over the edge & landed me in a psychiatric hospital for a week. (which is where I was diagnosed w/ PTSD) I allowed myself to suffer through a verbally abusive relationship for 2 years (I'll do a separate post on that issue 1 day). The step sibling I was closest to while growing up was almost killed in a car accident about 4 years after I got sick. Luckily, he survived but he ended up suffering some pretty bad brain trauma. One of my biggest "fans" & one of the women I admire most, my Nana, died about a year after my brother's wreck. We also lost my stepdad's sweet mother (aka Grandma Farmer). It's literally just been one thing after the other since I got sick in June of 2001. For a while, I was not given a break. People need time to grieve & to take in everything that has happened & when life just keeps throwing things at you, you can't stop & do all of that. Since the start of 2009 things have finally been slowing down some. The hip replacement/cardiac arrest event took place in December of 2008 so things started slowing down at the perfect time! The only problem was I had about 7 years worth of traumatic events that I had to start grieving over. I had some pretty dark, lonely days for the 1st year... I had A LOT of grieving to do!! A LOT!! I didn't really start to come out of the grieving phase until like May of 2010 so for almost 1 1/2 years, I sat around, depressed! Lots of crying & lots of talking to God took place during this time. I also did a bit of journaling. Oh, & WAY TOO MUCH eating. I put on a good 15-20 lbs.! I don't really eat that much but during that year & a half of grieving, I literally did nothing! I sat on my butt! Or slept. Doesn't really matter how little you eat, if you don't move around some, you're going to put on weight. Then you end up w/ something else to be depressed over! I was offered the job I have now w/ the pharmaceutical company (Novartis) in March of 2010 & I did my first job in May of 2010. That's when the fog of depression started to gradually lift. Apparently, sitting around on your ass for weeks at a time is NOT the way to get out of a dark time. Traveling is however a good way to help yourself. Isolating yourself from everyone is NOT a good way to cure depression either! And by the way, interacting w/ people on FB all day does not count as far as socializing. You need to get in a little face time here & there. I really feel that doing this job has helped turn me around. Aside from getting to travel all over the country, I'm helping save lives! The feeling you get knowing you're preventing other kids from going from perfectly healthy to physically or mentally disabled is one that can't really be put into words. Plus, I know that I'm helping to prevent other families/friends from suffering through what mine have. It's just an amazing feeling. Always good to earn some Karma points! I'm seem to have finally snapped out of my year & a half funk. I will be making my annual trip to Chicago to visit one of my favorite cousins in the Fall & I plan on going to California to visit Dad & the rest of the Gray clan. Oh, plus, next month I'm doing a job in New Hampshire & since my stepmom's brother & his family live there, I'm going to stay a few days extra w/ them. Although I do seem to have a "brighter" outlook these days, of course I still have days that are dark and even a bit scary. I have issues with pain every single day. My arthritis has gotten a bit worse. I've lost some weight & even though I'm only doing it like 2 or 3 days a week, I've started exercising again. I know that will help ease the arthritis some. I also am going to have to figure out some time to put aside to have a little "touch up" surgery on my right knee. I was THIS close to losing my right leg above the knee so it's kind of the "problem child" for me. The surgery will be outpatient & should only take about 3 weeks to heal from. But, the shape of my knee is going to change some so I will have to have a completely knew prosthetic made for this leg. I realize most people don't know too much about how prosthesis work so I'll just let you know that in order for the prosthetic to fit correctly, feel comfortable to walk on, & not cause any issues for your skin, the inside of it has to be custom fit for your leg. It can be a long process b/c sometimes you have to keep going back to have the socket (inside) adjusted some. Aside from that one surgery, no BIG stuff should happen that would affect my physical health! I'm planning on going to beauty school in Spring of 2012 to become licensed in asesthetics. It makes me excited to think that in a little over a year, I could be working at my dream job! SO, finally, getting back to my theme song! It's, "This Woman's Work". I know many people know it for the Maxwell version BUT it's not his song. It was written & first recorded by Kate Nash. It was written for the movie, She's Having a Baby, w/ Kevin Bacon. Very pretty & very haunting song! I like Maxwell's version but I LOVE Kate's version. You can feel pure, raw pain in her voice when she sings it. Although the song is supposed to be from a man's point of view, it's not too hard to understand why I relate it to my life. You have to understand that all of the memories of my life are either "pre Meningococcal" or "post Meningococcal aka NOW". There are many things about my "pre" life that I miss every single day & of course, there are people from both the "pre" & "post" periods that I grieve for every day! She sings about how too much time was wasted & too many things weren't said & done while the opportunity was there. I took my health completely for granted, as many people do. There were things I could've done before getting sick that I can no longer do. And even w/ the deaths of family members & friends, most of the time there are things that you didn't tell the person that you wish had before the person died. As I said at the beginning of this post, I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm just well aware that in order for me to live a "normal" life, it takes a bit more patience & a bit more work! If you've never heard the song, take a listen. I realize most men probably don't care for this type of music but if you have a wife, daughter, or a close relationship w/ your mother, you should be able to appreciate the lyrics. Whether men want to admit it or not, it's take a lot more work to be a woman! We have to find just the right balance of strength & femininity, we wear all the uncomfortable clothes, shoes, & undergarments, we have to put on makeup, we spend more $ on keeping up appearances & hygiene, we get to put up w/ the joys of having a period every month, we have to go through menopause & of course, we give birth!! I wish for just one week, every single man on the planet could live life as a woman! (Well, not gay men b/c many of them can appreciate some of the things women go through a bit more than straight men can.)

One more thing, I do realize this video is 1980s, cheesy, music video (over)acting at it's FINEST! Still, the story of a man thinking back on some of the memories he has shared w/ his wife while she is about to die (or will she?) is pretty touching! It serves it's purpose! If you can't understand the lyrics & want to read them, you can go to this link: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/this-woman's-work-lyrics-kate-bush/59bca1ccdde91964482569a000310904