Insomnia Guide Part II

Hello Kitty fan. Cute but I bet it wouldn't last 6 weeks before the motor burned up!

So, here's a shocker: IT'S ALMOST 2 A.M. & I'M STILL UP. Of course, I'm watching Hallmark channel b/c Frasier is on. Tomorrow, I'm planning on taking a trip to one of my favorite places (Target) w/ one of my favorite people (Momma) SO I have to get some sleep. I realized there is one thing I left out in my post from yesterday so I decided I'd blog about really quick. I completely forgot to mention listening to soothing music in yesterday's post. I'm sure most people with Insomnia know that it's actually NOT the best thing to watch TV when you're having trouble sleeping. There are several "scientific" reasons I've read about but I really don't feel like typing something for educational purposes at the moment. So, I am about to shut off Frasier (this episode has 2 mins left) & turn on the type of music that soothes me. People always laugh at me when they find out what that type of music is but I guess I'll just put it out there. For my whole life I have loved... SMOOTH JAZZ!! Yes, the Kenny G type of music. I think one of the main reasons I love it so much is b/c my dad listens to it & it always reminds me of spending Summers with him in Phoenix & San Francisco when I was really little. One of the channels I have on satellite radio, "Watercolors", plays smooth jazz & quiet storm which is stuff like Sade. I like listening to this while I'm in bed, reading a magazine. It doesn't necessarily put me to sleep but it does relax me and help calm me down if I'm having anxiety issues... like I seem to be having tonight. There hasn't really been anything that's happened today to make me be anxious, it's just one of the many things that usually comes with being a Meningococcal survivor. Oh, & no matter if I'm having a night where I can tell I'll be able to fall asleep rather quickly or if it's a night like tonight, I ALWAYS have to have my fan! I even have a small one that I pack in my suitcase when I travel. I literally cannot fall asleep w/out the noise. For years I tried explaining to my stepdad that the noise a fan makes is considered "white noise" & for many people, it's a soothing sound that helps them relax. I even spent a week in a, well, "crazy" hospital back in 2006 b/c my anxiety attacks had gotten so out of control & inside the hospital, they kept air blowing out of all of the vents 24/7 so that there was always that noise to help people w/ their anxiety. Anyway, I tried telling my stepdad about this for several years & it never seemed to register. So, last month when Mom & I got back from Little Rock for one of my speaking engagements my stepdad informs me that he watched something on TV while we were gone about how some people need the noise of a fan to help keep them calm or to relax them & then, he asks me, "Do you know that's what is called white noise?"!!!! Well, yes, not only did I already know that but I've been trying to tell YOU that for a few years now. No matter, I'm glad that it finally did register with him. So, on that note, I'm going to relax and hopefully fall asleep while reading a magazine & listening to my smooth jazz & my fan. Sweet dreams!

An Insomniac's Survival Guide

Rose, counting sheep just won't work for me! How bout an episode of our favorite show instead?

I have insomnia! I've been a night owl for as long as I can remember. It even seems to run on my dad's side of the family. My dad stays up all night & my 80 year old Grandmother stays up all hours of the night. I remember how much I LOVED spending the night at my Grandmother & Granddad's when I was little b/c I got to stay up as late as I wanted. My Uncle Geoffrey had Down's so of course he lived w/ my grandparents. I loved staying at their house on Saturdays b/c my uncle & I always stayed up & watched SNL. Back then (the 90s) after SNL went off, there was some thing that came on NBC afterwards & it always showed an episode of The Addam's Family followed by an episode of The Munster's. So, I usually was up until at least 1 A.M. on Saturday nights. I'm now 29 & I am still up at God awful hours. It's not quite as enjoyable as it was back then b/c in my house, nobody else stays up late with me... seriously, even my cats are zonked out next to me as I type this! Apparently, one of the "side effects" of Meningococcal Meningitis is dealing w/ insomnia after you've survived it. Pretty much every other survivor I know has trouble getting to sleep at night. I don't know what exactly Menigococcal physically does to the body to have this effect. Then again, it's bad stuff & it does all sorts of weird things to the body that you get to live with for basically the rest of your life. So, I'm sure a lot of people are wondering why I just don't take Ambien or some type of sleep aid. Well, I have! I wasn't one of those people who takes Ambien & starts sleep walking (I guess in my case it would be sleep crawling) or eating or whatever else people have done while on it. The reason I hated it was b/c it gave me HORRIBLE dreams. They weren't necessarily nightmares but they were just so damn weird. I always woke up feeling more exhausted than I had before going to sleep. When I first told my mom that I was going to quit taking Ambien b/c I didn't like all of the weird dreams I was having, she didn't understand. (she takes sleeping meds too) She figured "weird" wasn't scary so it was no big deal. Then, I informed her about one of my dreams & she immediately understood. I guess I'll give an example of one of the dreams just in case someone is curious. After my Nana (Mom's mother) died, I had a dream one night that my Nana was still alive but she knew she was about to die. So, she wanted to be cremated (although, in real life she was devout Catholic & would've NEVER wanted that since it's against the religion) but the thing that made it so bizarre was that if you wanted to be cremated, you had to go to the crematory & basically be euthanized to have it done. So, what I'm getting at is that in my dream, you go to the crematory while you're still alive, knowing what's about to happen. See!!! I told you I had weird dreams on it! I just hated how I felt when I'd wake up from dreams like that so for me, Ambien just didn't work. Then, I tired Lunesta. I did better with that one as far as dreams went but of course, I ended up with one of the common side effects: HORRIBLE taste! The day after I took Lunesta for the 1st time, I noticed things weren't tasting like they usually did. Even water had a weird, almost sweet taste. It really got bad that night when I took Lunesta for the 2nd time. About a 30 minutes after I took it I was drinking a glass of OJ... OH MY DEAR LORD!! I thought the juice had gone bad b/c it tasted rancid. It still took me another couple of days before I figured out that the Lunesta was causing this. So, that was the end of my brief affair with it. I basically have just accepted that for now I just have to learn to live w/ the insomnia... not that it's been hard for me to accept, like I said, I've been like this most of my life. It does get a big lonely staying up all night by myself but I do have one serious form of comfort: Hallmark Channel!!! Seriously, that channel is God sent. I used to watch Discovery ID & Tru TV all night. I still watch it some but when I was watching it hour after hour, night after night, it got to be a bit depressing. I mean, most of their shows do revolve around crime & murder. Now, I have Hallmark Channel! I can stay up as late as I want & take comfort in knowing that: 1) A really good show will be on & 2) It will be a show that's going to make me laugh. They show: Frasier, Cheers, Empty Nest & of course, my absolute favorite, The Golden Girls!! AND, if I'm having a really bad night & still happen to be awake at 4 A.M., I Love Lucy comes on. It's as if someone made this channel just to cater to my needs. It still gets lonely being alone night after night (um, someone needs a man!!) but I'd rather be lonely & happy then lonely & freaked out! I do have one other way of coping w/ Insomnia. I read! I subscribe to about a million fashion/beauty magazines so I usually have at least one magazine that I haven't read yet. While I do love reading magazines in bed, I'm not a big fan of reading books in bed. Sounds crazy, I know. The problem w/ reading in bed is that if I'm really into the book I'm reading, I won't stop! So, I'm not one of those people who reads in bed (books) to help myself fall asleep b/c it ends up doing the opposite for me. Hopefully, one day, something will come along that can help set me on more "normal" hours but I've accepted that for now (& most likely several years from now) I will just have to live like a vampire. Believe me, if vampires were real, I'd be out on the prowl for one right this second! I would love to find my very own Cullen family. Until I do find one, I at least have 4 old, reliable, & hilarious friends to help me get through! Dorothy, Rose, Blanche & Sophia... THANK YOU for being such great friends!

4 of my favorite girls!

Lindsey's "Serious About Skicare" Routine

I have people compliment me on my skin quite often! (Thank God b/c it makes me feel better as I age!) Combine that w/ the fact that quite a few people know how much I love skincare & that I'm planning to go to school to become an aesthetician & believe me, I end being asked about my skincare routine quite often. So, since my creative juices weren't flowing as far as what to blog about today, I decided I'd fill you all in on my strict skincare routine. Yes, strict! I follow this routine religiously & it seems to be doing the trick. I've mentioned in a previous post that from the age of 13 up until just a couple of years ago I was a serious tanner! I went to the tanning bed 3-4 times a week, sometimes more. I had a bit of a skin cancer scare back in 2008 & that's all it took to put that nasty little habit behind me. I was pretty much addicted to going tanning so when I first quit going, believe me, I wasn't liking what I was seeing. I felt nasty b/c I didn't like not having a tan color to my skin. Then, to top it all off, I noticed that any lines &/or wrinkles I had were now more noticeable. So, that's when my quest for figuring out how I could make my skin look younger & give it that youthful glow I seemed to be lacking really started forming. I started really taking note of all the skin tips I read about in all of the magazines I love to read & started playing around with different products. Some products came & went at first but some stayed around. I REALLY fell in love with the Philosophy brand. They have some phenomenal products. They aren't cheap but the ones I use work... for me! A few months ago my favorite cosmetics line, Benefit, put out a new skincare line so I just had to give some of these products a try. I really fell for a few of the products in the line so I rearranged the skincare routine just a bit by replacing my nighttime moisturizer, adding a scrub twice a week, & replacing one of my day/night eye creams. (yes, I use 2 eye creams each AM & PM) I've been following this routine for a few months now & I swear, I get compliments on my skin all the time. So, here's how it all goes down... or maybe I should say, on!

~~ Every A.M.- Wash w/ Bliss Fabulous Foaming Face Wash. (it smells WONDERFUL) I could seriously bathe in this stuff b/c it has the prettiest smell to it.  $9- $22 at http://www.sephora.com/

~~ Every Tuesday A.M. & Friday A.M.- After washing my face, I apply Benefit's b.Right! Refined Finish Facial Polish. Because the scrub contains seaweed & clay, instead of immediately washing it off I let it sit for 3-5 minutes so it can work as a mask & help vacuum out my pores.  $22 at http://www.benefitcosmetics.com/

~~ Every A.M.- After washing my face (& using polish Tues. & Fri.), I use Philosophy's Miracle Worker A.M. pads. The "juice" that these pads are soaked in is full of good for your skin antioxidants. These help defend skin from free-radicals that are all in the environment. Free-radicals are just one of the things that cause skin damage/aging. Aside from helping fight off free-radicals, these give your skin such a pretty, health glow. $58 at http://www.philosophy.com/

~~ Every A.M.- After using the pads, I apply either Philosophy's Eye Believe or Philosophy's Eye Hope eye cream. I only use Eye Believe on days I wear makeup. The reason for this is b/c the velvety texture of it feels amazing & it's perfect for layering concealer over. It's great at filling in lines too! It's more of a balm then a cream so that's probably the reason makeup goes on top of it so well. The Eye Hope cream helps w/ lines, wrinkles & dark circles. It's also very hydrating & I find it's good for sensitive skin. I was using another eye cream for a while but it was starting to dry the delicate skin underneath my eyes out. I switched to this & it's working just as well & it doesn't dry out my skin. It does just the opposite! $30 for Eye Believe & $48 for Eye Hope at http://www.philosophy.com/

Eye Believe

Eye Hope

~~ Every A.M.- After applying the Eye Hope, depending on if I am going out of the house or not, I then use  either Philosophy's UBER FAMOUS moisturizer Hope in a Jar (it was even on Oprah's annual "Favorite Things" list for the last 10 years or something crazy like that!) or Hope SPF 30 (it's the same formula as the regular Hope in a Jar w/ the added benefit of UV protection) My skin seriously drinks this stuff up. The cream has a whipped texture to it & it's super light as well as oil free. It kind of smelled weird to me when I began using it 3 years ago but after a week I was used to the smell & now, I don't even notice the smell at all. Basically, I'm saying that this stuff is so good, I just made myself get over the smell. It's that freaking awesome! And to be fair, not everyone who uses it thinks it smells weird. To many people, the smell is "botanical". To many others, the smell is, well, "wet dog"! Those are the 2 ways I always hear the smell described. I know, it's crazy that I willingly put something on my skin that I thought smelled like a wet pooch but again, the way it feels just makes it that damn good! If the whole smell thing has you kind of thrown, just go to Sephora, Ulta or Macy's and smell the sampler! If you find that you don't like the smell, I really must say that you should give yourself a week to try the product b/c I promise, you won't even notice the smell after a bit! And most stores will allow you to return beauty products that have been opened & used! (I'm always surprised how many people don't know that. If you buy a mascara at Walgreen's only to find that after 1 use you hate it, take it back to them & you'll get a refund!) $15- $105 for the original Hope & $38 for SPF 30 Hope at http://www.philosophy.com/

~~ Every A.M.- After applying Hope, I tap a layer of Benefit's b.Right! It's Potent eye cream on over the Eye Hope. I've already done a product review of this stuff on a previous post. It's one of my absolute favorite products! It feels amazing & it has not scent to it. I keep this in my fridge which makes it feel even more amazing when I put it on. The cold temperature really helps w/ any puffiness you may have under your eyes. Plus, your creams will stay good for a longer amount of time when you keep them in the refrigerator. $32 at http://www.benefitcosmetics.com/

~~ Every A.M.~ I then apply a layer of Philosophy's Hope in a Tube Eye & Lip Firming Cream around my lips.Tell me you've never seen women who have those awful wrinkles around their lips from smoking!! I don't smoke but the point is, your mouth & lips age right along w/ the rest of the face. (& body!!) Then, I put on lip balm! I love Smith's Rosebud Co.'s Strawberry Lip Balm. I know they're famous for the Rosebud flavor but I don't like anything rose flavored! BLAHH! $33 for Hope in a Tube at http://www.philosophy.com/ & $7 for Rosebud's Strawberry

 ~~ Every P.M.- I wash face w/ Philosophy's Purity Made Simple while using the Clarisonic Mia. I honestly do not know how I ever lived without my Mia! "She" goes on every single trip out of town I make. Now, before you go thinking, "I can't believe she'd spend $149 on a facial brush when there are cheaper ones on the market!", let me just stop you! Before getting my Mia, I DID try a "cheaper" $70 facial brush. Big mistake! It hurt like Hell. The brush fibers were so damn scratchy on my face. It felt like it was tearing my face at times! Clarisonic's brush fibers are super soft! And I use the "deep pore" brush head. I can't imagine how soft the, "Normal", "Sensitive", & "Delicate" brushes are! So seriously, don't waste your $ by going out & buying a cheaper knock-off. If you, like me, are a fashion & beauty magazine junky, you've heard them ALL talk about the Clarisonic brush. The Mia's been out for a couple of years now & still, every single month I see it mentioned in at least one of 6 magazines I subscribe to! Every celebrity under the sun uses the brush & it's highly recommended by dermatologists! There's a reason you only here the Clarisonic mentioned: IT'S THE BEST! Now, you may be wondering, "Why do I need to wash my face w/ a facial brush anyway?". First, you won't believe how much makeup this thing removes. After getting my Mia, I did a little test I saw done on TV simply b/c I figured it was too go to be true. First, I washed my face like I normally did, just using my hands, a washcloth, & water. Then, I washed it again using the Mia. I was SHOCKED to see how much makeup was on my brush head. It amazed me to see how much makeup & dirt gets left behind when you just use your hands! Another reason this product is so worth it's price is b/c the brush vibrates which means any skincare products you put on your face afterward get absorbed better. If you don't understand how that's possible, just go onto Clarisonic's website or do a web search & it will help explain it. Clarisonic also makes a bigger brush which can be used not only on your face, but your entire body. I love my Mia & I'm able to use it on my face, neck & chest so it's the biggest size I need. Philosophy's Purity Made Simple is another product they make that has won numerous awards over the years. It smells amazing & it cuts right through any makeup, even waterproof mascara! For most people, it's gentle enough that they are able to use it to remove their eye makeup. I'm able to keep my eyes open when I use it b/c it doesn't cause me any stinging. I turned my mom onto this stuff a little over a year ago & it's now 1 of her beauty staples as well. $10- $47.50 at http://www.philosophy.com/ & $149 for Clarisonic Mia at http://www.sephora.com/ or http://www.ulta.com/





The Clarisonic Mia comes in a fun assortment of colors!

~~ Every Wednesday P.M.- After washing my face I use Philosophy's Oxygen Peel. I love how this feels on my face. It really cleans out your pores & helps to brighten up your face. It's also very gentle so it shouldn't cause any stinging on your skin. It's kind of fun too b/c you get to mix the enzyme gel before each use. Once you have the gel on your face you put the oxygen foam on over it... it feels really good when it foams up. It's almost like you can feel your pores being cleaned out. As an added exfoliating step, the kit comes w/ a little spatula that you use to scrape the gel/foam off of your face. $50 at http://www.ulta.com/

The Oxygen Peel



~~ Every Sunday P.M.- After washing my face I use Philosophy's Mircodelivery Peel. Now, this one may not work well for people w/ really sensitive skin b/c it contains Vitamin C & for some people that can cause a stinging sensation. If you don't have sensitive skin, definitely try this stuff. This is yet another of their award winning products. It does such an amazing job of exfoliating. Even after using it for 2+ years, it still amazes me how soft & smooth my skin feels after using it. $40- $65 at http://www.philosophy.com/

The Microdelivery Peel

~~ Every P.M.- After washing my face (& doing my Wed. & Fri. peels), I apply RoC Retinol Deep Wrinkle Night Cream. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that retinol is THE holy grail of anti-agers! Go open a beauty or fashion magazine & try not to find it mentioned somewhere inside! Not only does retinol help as an anti-ager, it's also great for keeping skin/pores clear. They now have a version of this out for sensitive skin too. $22 at Target, CVS, Walgreen's & http://www.ulta.com/



~~ Every P.M.- After applying Roc, I again use Philosophy's Eye Hope.

~~  Every P.M.- After giving the retinol cream a couple of minutes to sink in I apply moisturizer. I use a different moisturizer at night than I do during the day. Your skin really benefits from all of the products you put on your face while you sleep so I use a night cream that's a bit rich. I like Benefit's b.Right! Total Moisture Facial Cream. It makes my skin feel so soft! I did a post of this stuff a month or so ago so I already explained the things I like about it. $38 at www.benefitcosmetics.com

~~ Every P.M.- After applying Eye Hope I use Philosophy's When Hope is Not Enough Neck Cream. All of those years of going tanning gave me the lovely "necklaces". Ladies, I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about... those lovely horizontal lines you get. This stuff is also really great to use on your decollete. I like that it's really thick b/c a little really goes a long way. It's full of peptides & antioxidants that help hydrate & firm the skin in this area. You may think that using your face moisturizer in this area is good enough but believe it or not, the skin on your face is NOT like the skin of your neck & chest. I always get the big 4 oz. size & I order it on the QVC website b/c every 3 or 4 months I get a new tube automatically shipped to me. So, basically, 1 oz. will last you approximately 1 month. Remember, you just need a tiny bit! $25- $55 at http://www.qvc.com/

~~ Every P.M.- Next, I go back to 1 of my favorite products: Benefit's b.Right! It's Potent eye cream. Can't get enough of this stuff. On those days where I didn't get enough sleep & my eyes look like I've been smoking meth or something, (okay, I've never done that so maybe that's not the best example) this stuff gets used about once every hour. That lets you know it's gentle though!

~~ Every P.M.- Right before I turn of the lights to go to sleep, I again apply Hope in a Tube around my lips followed by a layer of my Rosebud Strawberry lip balm. Obviously, it's always good to do this after you brush your teeth.

I know that sounds like a ton of stuff but seriously, it takes me about 10-15 minutes in the morning. When I do my night time routine, I usually take a bit longer but I enjoy doing all of this stuff so I just take my time with it. I usually do it while I'm watching Frasier reruns so there are usually some pauses between all of the steps.

JUST A FEW EXTRAS:

• I make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day. If you don't keep your body hydrated, your skin is going to look dull! PERIOD! And drinking soda all day does not in any way substitute water!
•  Get enough sleep. When you're tired, a lot of times your skin will also look tired... especially your eyes!
• Use a really good body lotion. Your face & neck aren't the only things that show age! I personally love Philosophy's body emulsions, mainly, b/c they contain antioxidants & ingredients that help firm skin. I also LOVE that they make lotions to match all of their wonderful Grace fragrances. Amazing, Pure, Baby & Inner are my favorite scents. Anytime I wear the Amazing Grace fragrance, I get compliments. It's so light & beautiful. My dentist LOVES it so much he had me tell him the name of the scent & where to purchase it so he could buy some for his wife! My mom also uses it along w/ Eternal Grace & Inner Grace. Oh, & when I want something more flirty, I use Philosophy's Falling in Love body emulsion. I love the scent so much that I often spray the perfume on my chest when I put my PJs on.

I'm always amazed at the people who are my age or younger yet look 10-15 years older than me. I'm not talking about any of my close, personal friends but I do have acquaintances like that. It's usually really easy to spot the people who indulge just a bit too much in things like alcohol, drugs & cigarettes! I'm not trying to sound like a bitch but I mean, stop & think about all of the things my body's been put through! I've been as close to death and being in a coffin as you can possibly get without it actually happening. I take a ton of pills a day, including an opiate to help w/ my pain level. For you to be the same age as I am & look 10 years older than me, you're definitely not doing something right! I drink occasionally & yeah, I may do some other things that I shouldn't from time to time but I know how to keep myself under control. I know that if I wasn't so religious about taking care of my skin my health issues would literally be written all over my face. I think it just shows that taking care of your skin is really that important. With all that I deal with, I really am in the position where I don't want to look like I feel most of the time! My skin definitely helps me with that issue. Now, I need to get this strict about working out!! I'm working on it! Actually, it's 10 P.M. so I'm about to go do my night time routine right now so I can go read & watch the Golden Girls in bed!

Only Audrey Hepburn could look this gorgeous "sleeping" w/ an eye mask on!

New in Town

So, after people telling me for quite some time now that I need to start a blog… I started a blog! I am still trying to figure out how to use the blog.com site, so this will probably take a couple of weeks to really get up & going. I realize many people are curious as to what life is like for me on a daily basis (although, I can’t say I get it), so I will definitely be using this blog to share all of my medical dramas. I actually believe this will end up being a great way to express my anger/frustrations on days I feel bad or worn down. However, I don’t want this to be just an extremely depressing blog either, so I will share pictures & entries about some of my favorite things. Well, it’s been a rough weekend for me due to my blood pressure not knowing if it wants to be too high or too low, so I am going to zonk out for a few hours. As I said above, I still have quite a bit to learn about working this site, so I’ll probably be back on at some point tomorrow… making myself mad for not understanding some of the blogger “lingo” on here. Ahh, well! Coco Chanel & I are turning in now. She’s already snoring & nothing makes me feel better like curling up to a big, fat, fluffy, flat-faced Persian & getting some beauty sleep. Ahh, crap! Speaking of beauty, I am religious about washing my face & doing my anti-aging routine (which costs way more $$ than you want to know) before bed so I guess I need to get out of my comfy bed and get that taken care of. I think I should have a sink built into my nightstand! xoxo    (this was actually published on my old blog page on Sat. night, 5/14. I decided I like this site better so I'm now moving all of my posts over to this site. thanks for being patient while I get my stuff in order!!!)