Fall In Love With More Free Templates! Click Here To Get Your Own Smitten Blog Design... »

Audrey Hepburn: Beauty, Class & a Kind Heart

Saturday, June 4, 2011

OHH, the Irony!

     It's been a rough week so I've got some serious rambling to do! Just preparing you. I know this is going to be long & maybe confusing to keep up with so I made this bad boy an essay!
     It's so funny (well, maybe funny isn't the right word) that when we (not all but many of us) were still in school, we couldn't wait to get older so we'd have all the freedom we wanted. So, we got older & what happened? First, we start to wonder where in the Hell all this time has gone b/c it went by WAY too fast. Then, we think, "Man, I'd give anything to be young again!". We thought going to school was just torture! Oh, how can they make us get up at 6 (I actually got up at 5:30) & go to school for 7 whole hours? We just couldn't wait to be legal adults so we could be on our own & do what we wanted to. Guess we didn't realize what you have to do to be able to live on your own.
     If you're like me, you're 30ish (I'm 29) & now you're starting to feel the physical "side effects" of getting older as well. I mean, I am like the freaking weatherman b/c my arthritis & I can tell you when to expect rain! My back is all messed up now too. Thank God for chiropractors & massages! Of course, as we continue to get older, most of us will begin having issues w/ all sorts of areas of our health. I'm already taking more pills than my 80 year old grandmother (seriously) so I don't want to imagine what my pillbox will look like in another 15 or 20 years!
     BUT, perhaps the cruelest thing of all about getting older is that you start to lose more & more people you love! You come to the realization that either you're going to outlive many of the people you love or they're going to outlive you! It sucks any way you slice it. I lost a good friend this week. He was only 10 days older than I am & now he's gone! It's just crazy how one day someone is in your life & the next day they can be gone. It's so easy for people to forget that we're all here on Earth on borrowed time... & none of us know just how much time we've been loaned! It's so crazy for me to stop & think about how many friends that were around my age I have lost. I lost 3 while I was in middle school, 3 while I was in high school & another 4 (including 1 of my absolute best friends) since graduating high school. And good Lord, don't even get me started on how you start to see more & more of your family go, the older you get. I realize that's an obvious "duh" kind of thing but still, until it starts happening, you don't realize just how much it sucks! And this crap about time healing all wounds... PUH-LUH-EASE! No, time makes it easier for you to deal w/ the loss but it never makes the pain go away or get much better. As a matter of fact, I miss a lot of people now more than I did the first year or so after they died. You stop & think about how long its been since you've hugged or kissed someone that you absolutely love & believe me, you're going to feel a ton of emotions. My Granddad died way too young... I mean, at 63, he wasn't exactly young, but most all of us have grandparents who lived well into their 70s, 80s or even 90s. I was seriously a little princess in my Granddad's eyes. There have been plenty of times where I've been angry that he wasn't alive when I got sick b/c man, he sure could've helped me through some of the Hell I've been through. I obviously don't think he could've prevented any of it but there were times in the hospital that I would be really scared & just wish that I could have my Granddad w/ me to tell me everything would be okay. At this very moment, there isn't much I wouldn't do to have just 2 minutes w/ him! And it's not just my Granddad that I feel that way about. I'm just using him as an example. Don't even get me started on my Nana, my Uncle Geoff & my Grandma Farmer.  I think I feel most robbed over losing Daren. (my best guy friend) It's so funny b/c guys always try to come off as tough & able to handle any situation thrown at them, but I learned REALLY quick that men are not too good at handling illnesses & hospitals!! Talk about wusses! Daren was not one of them though. I met him when I was 14, so he knew me for the 5 years before I got sick. He never treated me any different after I got sick. I think a lot of it had to do w/ the fact that he was a type 1 diabetic & had some personal experience w/ hospitals & being sick. I miss being able to pick up the phone & call him when I want to bitch about something. It's funny how you're more comfortable talking to your guy friends about certain topics you don't want to get into w/ your girlfriends! I really wish he'd of been around during the 3 1/2 years I was w/ my ex b/c he would've made sure that relationship ended MUCH sooner! I had only been w/ my ex for about 4 months when Daren died & although Daren never met the ex, from the things I'd told him about said ex, he already knew he didn't like the guy & told me to get out before I got in too deep! Guess who ended up being right about that situation? Here's a hint... NOT ME! My friend, Greg, who passed away this week, was another guy who was really able to deal w/ my situation for what it was. Anytime we'd be out somewhere together he'd be protective of me. I still have other guy friends but there are only 2 (maybe 3) who I feel can really handle all the fun stuff that comes w/ being a close friend of mine. It's so funny to me that none of my girlfriends EVER had issues w/ my situation. That's another story though! One of my favorite quotes can relate to this topic so I'll throw it in before wrapping this up:   "It has been said, 'Time heals all wounds.'. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them w/ scar tissue & the pain lessens. But it is never gone."~ Rose Kennedy.
     And as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, once you get older, you stop & wonder why time is going by so fast. It's almost comical that when we were little & wanted time to fly by, it went by SO slow. Now, it's the exact opposite. The more you wish time would just slow down a bit, the faster it seems to get. And I'm noticing every single year it seems to speed up more. It's like b/c I'm really in no rush to get to the middle or end of my life, time kind of throws it's head back, laughs, & shows me that it's in control, not me!
     I know I'm completely rambling now SO the point of this blog is that getting older & being a grown up isn't quite as much fun as we thought it was going to be when we were younger! If you're reading this & you're still in high school, PLEASE, don't be in any rush to grow up! Believe me, it's going to eventually happen... there's no getting around it. Usually, by the time you realize what's going on & think that perhaps you will slow down & enjoy the pleasures of being a teen/young adult, it's too late! In the meantime, try to enjoy the simple pleasures that come w/ being a kid. Savor every single moment of your childhood & make memories that will last you the rest of your life! Try to breathe in as much of every single moment as you possibly can! If you're spending time at your grandparents, really absorb how everything smells & sounds. When you get older, you may be out doing something one day & all of a sudden you'll get a whiff of something that reminds you of the smell of Nana's house. Believe me, you'll be so glad that you can remember that smell! And hey, take tons of pictures along the way so that if you do have trouble remembering all of these memories when you're older, you'll have photos to help. Ahh, life... it really is a bittersweet symphony!

No comments:

Post a Comment